Mirror Check: Living in Harmony

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I love the movie Guess Who (2005) with Bernie Mack and Ashton Kutcher. The movie shows how, sometimes, the people closest to us and family are the ones who drive us the most crazy. Sometimes, our differences feel amplified. Sometimes, our past feels inescapable.

The people closest to us are often closely tied to our trauma and probably the worst versions of ourselves. Trust me, I have been through enough coaching to realize that family is a common trigger. Despite this fact, we have a command directly addressing how we relate to our parents, and it has a promise attached to it.

Exodus 20:12 (our mirror check) says: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (ESV)

While we live in a society where teen rebellion movies are glorified (and make bank at the box office), we are called to be different and honor those God entrusted with our care. We are called to honor them, and I would venture beyond that, to treat them with compassion and grace. Honor often includes the components of compassion and grace, and also, sacrifice. If your parents aren’t around or there is a serious and legitimate reason for a strong boundary with your parents (in instances of abuse, no one asks you go back to that), you can honor your parents by living an honorable life.

There are different ways to carry out this commandment. You can expand legacy, care for your parents in old age, or live a virtuous life despite who they are. All ways involve you maximizing your God-given potential and capacity for grace and forgiveness.

Mirror Check Questions: How can I honor my parents today? What thoughts and feelings can I pray about to increase compassion and grace for my family and parents? How can I pray for my family today? (If you are a parent) How can I teach my children to honor and serve their elders?