Dorothy C.

Today, Dorothy speaks to us about Job’s faith, the purpose of marriage and God’s presence and peace in a dark season. Dorothy shares about the beauty of surrender. Thank you for your vulnerability, Dorothy.

Tell us a bit about how you grew up and your childhood: I was born and raised in Hong Kong to a Korean mother and a Chinese father. They are both devoted Christians, which I’m very thankful for. My childhood involves mentioning my mum’s background. My mum came from a very poor upbringing in Korea. Her father was extremely verbally and physically abusive to her mum and left them one day out of the blue. My grandma died when my mum was only 13. My mum is a strong woman, but unfortunately, she carried a lot of her unresolved childhood trauma into our family (my brothers and me).

Growing up, I had a relatively normal childhood. I was always the class clown, keeping everyone happy and entertained. There were many things I didn’t understand though, such as my mum’s emotional outbursts and my dad siding with her without explaining why she acts in such ways from time to time. Now that I look back as an adult, I finally understand it all. There was indeed a lot of love in the family, and my parents simply did the best they could with what they knew at the time.

Inspiring biblical passage of the moment: I have been very inspired and moved by Hebrews 11. It talks about what it means to have faith: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) It is through sheer faith that all the biblical figures were able to do the things they were called to do by God.

Noah was warned about things he could not yet see, but because of his faith in God, he obeyed and built an ark to save his family. Because of faith, Moses and his people were able to pass through the Red Sea, but not the Egyptians. There are countless examples of faith in the scriptures; Job is another amazing one to read and learn from.

It reminds me of my walk with God. It is faith that drives me to continue to do the things He has called me to do. Sometimes, He may not deliver the things I pray for, but ultimately, whatever path He lays out for me will be the best path, and that is because I have faith in Him.

Spiritual growth focus at the moment: Surrendering: I have learned that the act of surrendering is not a one-time thing; it is a constant practice that you must be prepared to do. I am always discovering new things to surrender to God, which I enjoy because I see them as a way to strengthen my faith with Him even more—such as my career, mental well-being, and romantic relationships. It is never an easy thing to do, no matter how many times you have done it. But it does mean that it is much easier when you rely on Him and admit that I don’t have all the answers and to say  “I trust You now Lord, with whatever You have in store for me.”

Profession/Mission: A fashion model and a fashion intern. My mission is to glorify God in everything I do and always give praises to Him for everything comes from Him.

If you wrote a memoir, what would the title be? All in God’s grace.

When did you first encounter God and how did you encounter Him? I grew up in a Christian household, but my first true encounter with God was when I was in New York back in May. Long story short, I came to New York for a month as an escape from my suicidal thoughts and loneliness I was having in London. Closer to the week of my return back to London, I started feeling anxious that I would go back feeling the same way and that this trip would have been for nothing. At that moment I decided, I needed to let go and pray to God, surrendering all my suicidal thoughts to him. On the day of my return, as I was heading to the airport, I felt a sudden wave of peace. I recalled the prayer I had been making over the past week, one I had even forgotten about because my anxiety had been lifted. It was an instant “aha” moment, and I am deeply grateful for Him. God’s grace and deliverance never cease amaze me.

How would you describe Jesus? Jesus is the Son of God who chose to live in the most humble setting and died for our sins in the most painful and humiliating way. Though we may never be deserving of such pure love, He did it anyway, exemplifying the true definition of love. Jesus is love, and He is the way, the truth, and the life.

How has your relationship with Him changed you? Before coming to Him, I was an extremely insecure person, feeling empty inside. All I saw were the failings of my life. Because of that constant feeling of not being enough, I sought to silence those voices by clinging to worldly things, which gave me a false sense of belonging and validation that never truly filled the void. It was only through Christ that my heart was transformed and softened.

Now, I view everything differently because God has broken the chains of deceitful lies that the enemy had planted in me and that I had believed for so long. Since then, I see His love and grace in all areas of my life, the fact that I’m still breathing is a blessing in itself. I’ve returned to my most authentic self, the self He created me to be. I notice a childlike innocence He has restored in me, which I realized had been hidden over the years. I am now gentler and calmer; things feel less heavy than before, and there is an innate joy within me that can only be found through Christ. I also notice that my hunger for His Word grows stronger each day, while my hunger for worldly things slowly diminishes. 

What has been the darkest time in your life, and how did you see God in it? I have always dealt with depression, but this March, I had one of my worst depressive episodes. I was battling suicidal thoughts; I felt like the biggest failure with no one to turn to, and I was embarrassed to share how I felt. It seemed like the world I was living in kept getting smaller and smaller, and those suicidal thoughts kept getting louder and louder. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I knew I had to be with family before I spiraled out of control, so I went to New York to be with my brother for a month.

Things gradually got better, but in the days leading up to my return to London, I started dreading going back to the place where I had felt my lowest. I was extremely scared that if I returned, I would have suicidal thoughts again, and I couldn’t go through that. I was afraid I would feel as alone as I did when I left London in April, with no sense of community. There was so much anxiety surrounding the thought of going back.

One day, I had a revelation. Throughout the months, I kept telling myself to put faith in God, but it made me reflect on the fact that I had not been true to myself. I was reading the Bible daily, but I wasn’t applying it into my life, at least not the way I thought I was. And so I prayed. I knew I had to let go; I had to cast those suicidal worries onto God. I said to Him, “Lord, I’m scared of going back, but I’m more scared of surrendering these anxious thoughts to You. But I know I have to now, knowing that You are God. I have to put faith in You.”

And I kid you not, I have never felt more at peace saying goodbye to my brother that night before flying back to London. God has truly transformed me through this whole experience. To say that I’m grateful for those dark periods is evidence of Christ working in me. Being able to look back at my sufferings and see God in it is something I failed to see for the longest time when I was living a Godless life. Through my isolating period, it was a test of faith. I’m so glad I went through that because, through it, God has made me grow spiritually, and my relationship with Him has grown tremendously. I believe that during our darkest periods, God shines the brightest. He never once forsake me; He was there all along. He was there when I cried, He was there when I was frustrated with Him, He was always there. He knew I would come out of this dark period stronger through faith, but I had to personally experience and learn that through the dark times. I’m very thankful that He didn’t just heal me instantly, because if He had, I wouldn’t have learned the importance of surrendering to God.

“God has truly transformed me through this whole experience. To say that I’m grateful for those dark periods is evidence of Christ working in me.”

What has helped you grow spiritually in this season? A collective of things; daily morning quiet time, listening to Timothy Keller’s podcast, surrounding myself with christian friends.

Just read/currently reading (and what has it taught you?): I’ve been reading The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, co-written with his wife Kathy Keller. Every page is filled with godly wisdom, and I really have to take my time to reflect and digest its teachings. The book has taught me what marriage truly means, even though I was brought up in a Christian household. I had never known God’s intention for marriage. I initially thought of marriage as simply two people coming together in the name of love. But God has intended marriage to have a much greater purpose.

Marriage is about two becoming one flesh; it is a covenantal relationship modeled after God’s covenant with His people. It is a binding and unconditional commitment. The primary purpose of marriage is not personal happiness or the fulfillment of the flesh, but rather spiritual growth and character formation. Both spouses are meant to help each other become more like Christ through self-sacrificial love, just as Jesus demonstrated.

“The primary purpose of marriage is not personal happiness or the fulfillment of the flesh, but rather spiritual growth and character formation.”

Top three essentials: Holy Bible, my family and praying.

How did God speak to you recently? Lately, I’ve noticed that God uses various ways to speak to me. He communicates through the Holy Spirit touching my heart, through my family, through my Christian friends, through gospel music and sermons.

Hobby: Weight lifting, reading the Bible and cooking.

Top three practical tips for staying spiritually strong: Prayers every single day, reading the Bible and having a solid christian community.

Favorite person in scripture? I started reading the Book of Job and am incredibly moved by his unwavering faith and love for God, especially during times of adversity. His true obedience is clearly demonstrated in his story. I believe we all have something to learn from Job’s faith in God, and I pray that when I face adversity in my own life, God will help me to be more like Job.

“I believe we all have something to learn from Job’s faith in God, and I pray that when I face adversity in my own life, God will help me to be more like Job.”

What do you want people to learn about God when they look at you? His grace and power in transforming one’s heart because it has been shown in my life and the lives of many other Christians. If you had seen the person I was before, you would know just how much He has worked in me.

How do you engage with your community? I mostly use social media to share my faith and my walk with God.

Favorite holiday? Greece with my younger brother, we both love the film Mama Mia, and we went to the two greek islands in which the film was set in.

A goal you have? To enroll into a Bible school.

A special tradition you and your family engage in or keep: We have our own version of a Christmas meal, we have Chinese dishes and western dishes together, so every year you will get a plate of roast meat and a plate of steam fish for the elderly family members.

Question you will ask when you get to heaven? Honestly, nothing, because seeing Him would be more than enough.

Thing you want to raise awareness about: As someone who has struggled with mental health issues for a long time, I want to reach out to those who are still suffering. God delivered me from my darkest periods, including my suicidal thoughts and eating disorder, and there is truly hope out there. You do not have to suffer alone. Please turn to God and let Him do the rest. You will find immense peace and comfort in Him.

What does your morning routine consist of? I wake up each day thanking God for giving me another day to live on this earth. I make my breakfast and then start my quiet time. I begin with a prayer, asking God to quiet my mind and grant me wisdom to understand His teachings. Next, I read from my daily devotion book, God’s Message for Each Day by Eugene H. Peterson, which was a gift from my parents. I journal about the reading, meditate on His words, and then read from the Holy Bible. I conclude my quiet time with a prayer.

What is on your nightstand? A candle, my journal and a book written by my favorite author, Timothy Keller.

Define Christianity in a sentence: It is not a religion but an intimate relationship you have with God, it is the most pure, transformative and beautiful love one can ever receive.

For more Dorothy:

Instagram Handle: yeeyancheng

Until next time, keep witnessing!

XX